by Ann Marie Danimus, BeautyMark.Style Founder and CEO

Beauty is only skin deep. I heard these words a lot when I was a kid. I’m sure you did too. A little reminder about character. A pull of focus to emphasize personality. We are programmed to admire star struck perfection. Not too trendy and for God’s sake not too YOU!. Not pouty, just a slight pout. Not jiggly, just a little girly. Natural enough to be a natural beauty, but not so natural you look disheveled or wan.

*sigh*

It takes a lot of effort to avoid wanting to look pretty. We try so hard to focus on being amazing and not worry about looking amazing… ugh, but why can’t we have both. Oh right, we can, we just have to remember what is important. Right?

Right! No, wait.. Maybe?

Is it okay to be fat?

Yes and no. Because if you are trying to convince yourself that it is not important and focusing like crazy in order to accept your flaws, but trying at the same time to be healthy, but not focus on pretty… The pendulum of self acceptance has me screaming STOP! We want to look good. We want to look pretty. We want to be seen and admired and desired. AND we want to be valued for our minds and character and the unique little sunshine fleck of a special snowflake that we all are.

Say it with me. It is okay to want to look beautiful. It is okay to want to be thin. It is okay to want to be bigger busted. It is okay to want people to think you are pretty. It is okay to flaunt it.

We all know what is not okay. Do not judge the worth of a person on their appearance or their clothes or their job or any other superficial LESS important metric. The way that we are or have been treated for how we look on the outside from judgements of beauty to judgments about race are in many ways responsible for who we are on the inside and can be uplifting or devastating to our confidence.

The way that we feel about ourselves and how we fit in the world has a lot to do with the way we are received by the world and the first impression is how we look. How we respond to that plays a very large role in who we are as people whether we like it or not. We have been telling ourselves for a while now to focus on the inside and love the outside, but the discussion about “how we talk about” what we look like needs to be in the forefront of this conversation if we are ever going to rid society of acute and unhealthy judgments as norm.

Feeling comfortable in your skin and happy should always be the focus. Being the best “you” you can be. Whatever that means in fashion and beauty and fitness is what you choose to accept and embrace. Not what the world thinks is new, hot or special. This is custom-fit beauty. This is the true you done up exactly how you want it.

A smorgasbord of hair, make up, fashion and health to create a true you that is all you, unique and beautiful. Comfortable and personal. Healthy body and healthy mind.

Design yourself with personal style. Pick what you want and wear it with confidence. It’s have it your way beauty by being exactly who you are tweaked with the way you wanna look.

Make it happen and make it happy.